The Griswolds Got NOTHING On Us

So 10 years ago (exactly 10 years ago, to be precise), my family took a vacation. 

Or to be more detailed.  They took THE VACATION TO END ALL VACATIONS.  Atleast, that's how it's been described to me over the ensuing years. 

My mother, father, and sister drove the 10 hours from central Kentucky and met up with my cousins Barb, Robert, and their son Tyler in that play pit most of you refer to as Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  I stayed home to attend a wedding.  (And do some entertaining at the reception, but to the best of my knowledge only three pictures of that exist and I own one and know the owners of the other two, so life is good...)

So last summer Barb'n'Robert (as they are most commonly referred to by my people) wanted to do Best Vacation Ever: Part II, but Daddy had to up and get sick on us, and in general make life difficult.  Hence, the title of this post. 

While many of you will try to arm, leg, or thumb wrestle me for the title of the South's version of the Griswolds (see below), I will humbly submit why my family has flat out earned the title after not even one full day.

• The Power of Positive Thinking Parent.  While one parent really wanted us to set out for the airport by 4:00, my mother had us loaded up and pulling out of the driveway at 3:11 a.m.  I know this because I was the fool behind the wheel.
• The What'd He Say? Parent  In my entire 30 years of traveling with my mother and father, we had never taken an airplane trip together.  You have to know my father-he's known for saying pretty much anything.  And this was before the stroke.  I was on pins and needles about him getting through security because it'd be just like him to try and be funny and have it taken completely out of context.  Case in point:  I was trying to prep him for security.  "Daddy," I said, "they're going to ask you if you've been asked to transport any strange luggage or anything you don't know.  Now what'd you say?"  Without missing a beat, "Only by my family."
• False Alarm So we made it 70 miles to the airport.  We're about to go through security and my sister's phone starts ringing.  Slightly odd, since it's 4:45 a.m. and we hear her trying to explain everything away.  As we start through the line, she announces, "I'm turning my phone OFF!! That was my boss.  She thought I'd been abducted."  (Now tell me what had gone on while I was parking the car to make that woman think that?)
• We finally arrive.  Our first day is marred by headaches, vomiting, and other unmentionables.  Some people just don't know how to pace themselves. 

And the best part-that was just day 1.  Watch out Clark-we're gaining on ya.

A Walk In The Park

So today I went to King's Island. You know, the amusement park that was what I lived for during the summers as a kid.  Only a few things had changed:

• The tram that ever so kindly and briskly escorted you from your vehicle to the front gates?  Nada!  (And let me tell you, I mourned that loss.)
• Hanna-Barbera Land has been renamed Planet Snoopy.  Now I love me some Snoopy, but...no Smurf ride, no Fred Flintstone greeting you, and no Hanna Barbera character themed carousel.  Oh..My..Goodness...can I even tell you what this generation is missing out on by not being able to take a spin on Scooby?
• I was no longer interested in making friends with the people in line. (Then again, it may have had a little something to do with the sun poisoning I received.)  I had to restrain myself from informing a UConn fan wearing a 2011 NCAA Basketball Championship shirt he had no business wearing it.  I attended that game, and believe you me, there were a whopping 50 UConn people in attendance (and weren't 13 of 'em wearing jerseys?). 
•  The end of the day was accompanied by sunset and a suntan.  Today, it ended at 2:30. With sun poisoning.  That required steroids.  

Just a couple of differences.  Both days were good...in very different ways.

Why I Heart Brenda Leigh Johnson

Tonight marks the opening of season 7 (and the FINAL *sad sigh*) of The Closer.  If you're not acquainted with it, the main character is a woman named Brenda Leigh Johnson and here are several reasons why she is one of the few shows I make a point to watch.

1. She is deeply, irrepressibly, southern.  (Okay, so her accent is not exactly true to Georgia, but she's the only modern character I can recall that has an accent that thick and she's not the brunt of a joke.)
2. Her sweet tooth.  I love how she tries to hide her candy from everyone-her husband, her squad, and Chief Delk.  (This is coming from a woman who kept a well stocked snack cabinet at work and if you are on my good side, you know where it is.)
3. Her ability to get to the bottom of something.  Us southern girls like to know what's going on.  Brenda Leigh knows how to wrangle a confession out of a suspect by using sugar coated words or a little bit of heat.
4. Introducing herself as, "I'm Brenda Leigh Johnson, L.A.P.D."  Who else makes introductions by their full name?
5. When quoted in the paper, she was not miffed by the unflattering quote.  Rather, she was miffed, "Because they misspelled my middle name."
6. While she can solve the trickiest of murders, she cannot tell if her pet Kitty is male or female.
7. She is unfailingly polite.  Whether asking for overtime or simply in line at the Atlanta detention center, she never forgets to add a, "Thank yew...thank yew so very much."

Happy B-day America!

A repost, but it's all I got...

"When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you....You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today."  Deuteronomy 8:10, 17-18


We all know how blessed we are to live in the United States. While the U.S. has its problems, and we are all aware of them, I still cannot help but feel gratitude that I am an American citizen.


And much like the Scripture says, whcn I look at my possessions, at our great nation, sometimes I am tempted to pat myself (or collectively ourselves) on the back and take credit for a job well done.


Then, conviction creeps in. And I realize that all I have has nothing to do with me. It has to do with the sacrifices of others, from the brave men and women who sacrificed their lives and their occupations so that we can live, work and play with freedom and security. It's about family members who sacrificed self so they could help form character and help make sure their families had all they needed. It's about the founders of our who valued worship so much they were ready to venture to an unknown.


Above all else, the reason why America is great is because God has put His favor on it. We have done nothing to deserve it, which is why it's called favor. We don't need to delude ourselves into thinking that we earned it, it's simply His grace.



So I humbly ask you this long weekend, as we celebrate America's birthday and contemplate how very fortunate we are to live in this blessed nation, to do exactly as Moses instructed the Israelites a long time ago. Eat, be satisified, be thankful! Just be sure and remember to whom those thanks must be given.

Final Thoughts on the Final Four, Part 4

If a picture's worth a thousand words, here's a couple hundred thousand...

Our tickets.  I was really nervous before we got scanned in they might be fakes, but they were real. 

Even the Galleria was decked out for UK!

Standing in front of the best candy store EVER.  In fact, one member of our party even did a victory dance upon realizing DCB was at the Galleria.  I'm talking 'bout you, LF!

Off to the game!

Enough said.

I got chills every time I saw that!

The photoshopped picture I mentioned in Part 3.  It's the desktop image on my computer at work.  All the third graders believe I had my picture taken with the team in Houston.  Priceless!

I saved this one for last because it's my favorite.  If you look at this pic, you can see how happy we are, and not the trials of the past year-which is why I love it.  You can see the friendship that encompasses 10 years, three states, and countless basketball games.  Back when Melissa's dad passed away, she mentioned she wanted us three to try and go to a basketball game together sometime.  Her daddy loved UK ball.  And of course, I said yes, not knowing when or how we could finagle a ball game with her in Texas and us in Kentucky.  If you had told me back in December the game we would attend would have been the Final Four, I would have called you crazy. 

But sometimes, crazy is just plain wonderful.

Final Thoughts on the Final Four, Part 3

Continued reflections of the highest order and spiritual nature regarding how I spent half my spring break.

Shopping

Y'all, if Fayette Mall were like the Houston Galleria, I would get nothing done.  For sure.  In my thirty years, I had never set foot in a Neiman Marcus.  I made up for it in Houston.  Because some members of my party were a little discouraged when they saw the prices of the items, we didn't spend much time there.  There are two regrets I have of this whole trip, and they both involve shopping.  (While out of town, this is my normal mantra: Buy in haste, repent in leisure.  I borrow it from the late, great Erma Bombeck.)

I am utterly devastated, crestfallen, heartsick there is no photograph to document the $1,000 hat I tried on at Neiman Marcus.  If you have ever seen my classroom on Kentucky Oaks day, or seen me on Easter, you know I have no problem prancing around in a big 'ol hat.  I tried on a hat in NM that would have made the perfect Derby hat, except that outrageous price, and no one took my picture.  I think they were the slightest bit intimidated by the four digit numbers?  Meanwhile, I am in my Mecca of big hats, but alas and alack, there is no physical proof that I tried on those hats. 

And our wonderful hostess, Emily, lived in a neighborhood with three, yep I wrote three, Starbucks within walking distance.  One night, we walked to Starbucks and got coffee and sat out in the humid Texas air and talked and talked.  It is one of the fondest memories I have of this trip. 

They say to not focus on the things you can't do on on a trip, but the things you can do.  Therefore, I will focus on all the stuff I did manage to purchase and try hard to not mourn the loss of a perfectly good Derby hat.

Odds and Ends

We came.  We saw.  We conquered Bracket Town. 

For the uneducated, it is not enough to host the Final Four.  You must have something to do in the largest city in the state for your visitors on the off days.  Enter Bracket Town.

If you're athletic, this was your cup of tea.  If you count yourself fortunate to walk to and from your car without spraining your ankle, you might have been underwhelmed-like me.  Except for one booth that allowed you choose one of the Final Four teams, suit up in their jersey and photoshop you in their team pic.  Awesome!  And then they were looking for people to upload their photo on facebook to show how easy and simple it was.  Because I was doing something fun for once in my life am a technology fiend, of course I volunteered to do it.  And it didn't hurt there was a camera there recording everything.  (I've been accused of being a show off, but if you know me, you know I'm shy.)  So of course I did it in about sixty seconds, and then they interviewed all three of us.  Except I talked so much they told me to let my friends talk.  And Laura and Melissa informed them that I was kinda the mouth piece for the group.  But it was funny.

Another Saturday Night and I Ain't Got Nobody

All jokes aside, other than funerals or September 11th and the immmediate aftermath, the saddest crowd I've ever witness was the slow cattle herd out of Reliant Stadium that Saturday after they lost.  It was awful.  However, we did see one Butler college couple who atleast had the decorum to walk a steady pace behind, giving us room to mourn.  One soul looked up and saw them and yelled, "Butler!"  He gave a solemn nod, raised his fist, and we all understood they would defend our honor come Monday night.  (On the lighter side, you wouldn't believe how many people wanted us to go drink with them.  It was hysterical.)

Big Blue Fever

I've talked before about how this past year has been hard on me.  My friend Melissa, with whom we stayed, lost her father and grandfather two weeks apart in December.  The wounds were still pretty fresh in April when we were there.  She teaches school as well, but had hardly taken any time off.  Her principal kept urging her to, but she didn't.  Texas schools do this thing where they ALL (college and public) have the same spring break, so she'd had her break a month prior to our visit.  She was also missing two days of work.  She hadn't had a chance to speak to her boss, so she put them in as sick days, because personal time had to be pre-approved, and did I mention this trip was very hastily thrown together? Once we found that out, I politely offered to telephone in and inform him that she had contracted the Big Blue Fever, which she declined.  That was on Saturday, and we had a good chuckle.

Fast forward to Monday night, and we're on our way to the championship game.  Melissa and I are in our UK blue shirts, because we're not going to let Butler and UConn forget.  Laura is disgusted and refuses to wear UK, so she goes with pink (fashion is a big deal to us).  We're on the Light Rail, and Laura is sitting while Melissa and I are standing, laughing and defiant amidst the Butler and UConn fans.  (All two of them.)  Who do you think is on that train?  Nope, not her boss-that would be funny.  There is a lady with a ginormous camera snapping away.  She loved the contrast of us and our royal blue versus the dark blue, so we got in a ton of pictures.  Turns out she was from the Houston newspaper.  We got our picture (and names) in the paper.  Good times.

Final Thoughts on the Final Four, Part 2

I had such a big time at the Final Four there is no way one post could contain it all.  So to beat a dead horse...

Best Performance


Yeah, I know Kemba Walker was there. I know. I know Brandon Knight had a big night, as did Shelvin Mack. However, the absolute, hands down, most incredible performance I saw the entire three games did not occur on the hardwood but on the sidelines. I don't even know this fella's name, so I'll just call him the VCU's band director. Dude was into it. For real. When it was his band's turn to play, not only did he use his baton, but he used his entire body. I got such a kick out of watching him I was seriously sad when play resumed and the band had to be quiet.

Best Fans

As if I'm going to say anything bad about my people. Kentucky showed up in DROVES. Or as the locals around here would say it, "There were gobs of people there." There was a small contingency of VCU peeps (cue the "Black and Yellow" chorus) and Butler fans, but Kentucky came to watch. You could not go anywhere in Houston without seeing someone proudly sporting their blue. Even at the title game, there were more UK fans than UConn.  Which brings me to...

Seriously?

Okay, the people in yellow are the VCU fans. Their team had just lost. Right next to them are the UConn fans whose team are about to play for the chance to get the title in two days. Kind of a big deal, right? Not to these folks. This was as full as it got that entire night. Then on Monday night they made both of those areas UConn student sections. And UConn kids decided they'd rather stay home and wash their hair. The student section was so sparse Monday night they gave tickets to the Rice kids to help fill up the UConn student section (and it still wasn't anymore full than what it is in this pic).
Star Gazing

So the notables were out in full force. Ashley Judd was there (which we all expected), standing in the student section. Saturday night George H. and Barbara Bush were there in support of Butler, and they came Monday night as well. Dennis Rodman was there, as well as Leeann Rimes, who sang the national anthem Monday night. She brought along her now husband, Eddie Cibrian.



The People

Can I just say I adore me some Texas men? Because the parking was super expensive (and there were just a measly 75, 458 people there), we rode the train to stadium. The trains were packed, with lots of Kentucky fans, because where the Cats play, it's our second home. We will go to a war zone. We will go to the ends of the earth. We will go to Louisville.


However, I was impressed with the young men (i.e. college guys) on the Light Rail (monorail). And on our train there were a blue million people. Most were Kentucky blue, but there were a couple of UConn blue shirts as well. There were some Texas frat guys on our train who were leading the UConn cheer. Even though us three girls were wedged in the middle of a bunch of men, and the seating was limited (there were just a few Houston people who were trying to make their way home from work-the poor things), the moment there were seats available, who were the guys saying, "They should have those seats!" Was it our fellow fans? No. It was the Texas frat boys who were our opponents that night. At least their mamas raised 'em right.