Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Scratch That

For your reading pleasure, a bedtime/naptime tale...

Once upon a time, in a mythical kingdom known as Fayette County, lived a young schoolteacher named Miss Robin.  (Okay, so Fayette is not mythical, I'm getting older by the day, but my name is Robin.)

Miss Robin loved her students, those little bundles of joy.  Their cherub faces.  Their sweet smiles.  Their excitement for learning.  They way they were possibly giving her gray hair, but that would mean admitting it was there and some people are still in denial.

Now the only thing that could compete with Miss Robin's love for instilling a love for learning (other than a snow day on a Friday or Monday) was University of Kentucky basketball.  (If you're in Kentucky, UK refers to that overpriced priceless institution for learning.  If you're in the SEC-that's Southeastern Conference, not Securities Exchange-UK is your worst nightmare during basketball season.  During football season, everyone rolls out the red carpet...they know they're guaranteed a win.)

Miss Robin knew she was in a position of influence with her own kind, so she began a tradition with her young students.  Every time UK played on a school day, anyone wearing Kentucky Blue (i.e. royal blue to all y'all commoners) had their picture taken and a copy was given to them. They even had a note on the board to remind them when their next "Wildcat Wear" was, and these children can read a basketball schedule like nobody's business. 

Now in the month of January 2012, a most exciting event occurred-the 100th day of school.  While Miss Robin normally celebrated this day with making 100 glasses, writing 100 hundred words, etc, this day was extremely special.  UK played and it was the 100th day of school-which had never previously happened before (this is People's #1 that God is, indeed, a Wildcat fan).  Only one thing could be done.

A cake must be made. 

Because Miss Robin doesn't have a life is extremely devoted to her job, it was after 5 p.m. when she finally had time to think about a cake.  And decided to run by Kroger's and get one of those gi-normous cookie cakes.  There's always blank ones, so how difficult would it be to get one with "Go Cats!  Happy 100th Day!"

You must be new to this blog if you think anything in Miss Robin's life is simple. 

Running by a very nice Kroger (though declining to put the offenders in print), she found a beautiful blue and white cookie.  It already had "Go Cats!" with the accompanying paw prints, so all that was needed was a simple "Happy 100th Day" scrawled somewhere on the cookie. 

Standing with a pleasant expression, a delightful Kroger employee rushed to our heroine's aide.  "Do you need help?"   Now for Miss Robin, that is a loaded question which is why the standard answer was given, "Every day of my life."  After explaining that all she needed was approximately 13 characters put on this cookie, the very kind Kroger lady said, "Let me get you someone from the bakery."

Which is when Miss Robin met Delightful Kroger Employee #2.  Because Miss Robin has high expectations for all people, she was not the least perplexed (okay, maybe a little) when she expressed verbatim what was needed on the cookie and DKE said, "Happy Day?" 

Thinking she had the ordinal numbers worked out, and that the southern accent was not affecting her order in the least, she stood there while DKE worked her magic.

Miss Robin shoulda known what was in store when DKE handed her the completed cookie and muttered, "I'm sorry it looks bad." 

But it was the next words that nearly sent Miss Robin into a fit of giggles...and shock.  As she handed the cake back, she muttered, "I'm not a professional."  (Which, of course, begs the questions...why did you agree to do it?  Why not get someone who could?  If you get paid to decorate cakes and cookies and do this kind of work, can I get a job as well?)

And because a picture's worth a thousand words, I can think of no better conclusion...