Dear World Equestrian Games,
I would like to take this brief moment to thank you. Because the Games will begin very shortly, and if I don't do it now, I'm afraid it just won't happen.
First of all, thanks to you, we're getting a couple of extra days off from work. I know that you would like for me to come and see the horses compete (and let me tell you, dressage is the most astounding thing I've seen for quite some time). However, this has been quite a last three months for me. I'm thinking it's probably best for the Bluegrass (and my nerves) if I keep a low profile and keep away from the massive crowds the Games will draw. But you do have my most utter and sincere thanks.
Second, in order to really convey the element of festivity that accompanies these Games, there is a plethora of free entertainment that will be commencing this month. Some are better than others (because my mother tried to instill in me some values, I will refrain from saying who I think should not be on the bill). Can I just say how psyched I am that he is playing a FREE concert in Lexington? Were y'all aware that I WORK in Lexington? And that I have traveled cumbersome distances (okay, so it was 70 miles one way, but still) to see this man because he's that funny? Someone seriously needs a pat on the back.
I guess because I'm a good Kentuckian I should say something about this helping the economy, but I'm staying out of serious topics like that. Among other reasons.
I know you're incredibly busy. I seriously appreciate the time and attention you have given my letter. I am truly honored that the first time these games were held in the United States, Kentucky was chosen. You couldn't have selected a better location. Our people will make you proud. So, in short, thanks again!