Dear Chris Tomlin,
Greetings. By now I am sure it has come to your attention that I will not be in attendance Saturday when you lead worship at that wonderful pavilion of pleasure known as King's Island. Knowing you are the sensitive type and are completely devastated by this absence, I feel the need to explain my truancy.
As you know, we go back. Like way back. Like, remember when you would sign cds? Before the whole mp3 thing became a big deal? Guess which cd I have a signed copy of? Not to Us. Yeah, that's how far back we go.
And usually if you are within a hundred mile radius of Lexington I (and some peeps) will happily traverse to worship with you. [Okay, there was that whole 'nother time there was a trip to Nashville. But that was due to an unfortunate debacle (see Ichthus comma, 2007 and people who would druther talk than sing worship songs).] However, this is the venue and date at which I draw the proverbial line in the sand.
Dude, do you know what King's Island is? I know you're from Texas and all, so let me enlighten you. It's an amusement park. And it's super fun. They do have a lot of great roller coasters (if you need to know which are worth the wait and which to stroll on by, just let me know). I really like the idea of this combo, but I just can't deal with it being on a Saturday.
I know the economy is rough and all, but you're going to be there. So is Toby Mac. And Third Day. On a weekend. The weekends are usually crowded as is. However, this is really going to bring in people by the truckloads. (Though in this case, it's the church vans.) Let me give you some perspective: I would sometimes have one of your cds playing when the bell rang as the kids came into my classroom. One of my kindergarteners would ask me, "Do you have any Toby Mac?" So you KNOW if five year old is requesting Toby Mac, it is going to be unmistakably crowded. I don't abhor crowds, but I know enough to avoid gobs of people.
I wish y'all a good time. Please don't shed any tears because I'm sitting this one out. Do ride the Beast for me-it's my favorite roller coaster. A good time will be had by all up there though-those who are brave enough to face a blue million people at King's Island are sure in for a treat. Surely the Lord will be there in your midst-His favor is definitely upon you. Have a wonderful time!