Monday, July 26, 2010

Dear UK

Dear UK,
I saw on the news tonight where you saw fit to replace all the Championship banners in Memorial Coliseum.  I'm just wondering what you're doing with the old ones.  I've got a couple of ideas.

First, you could display them at the airport.  It is my understanding that most of the SEC teams fly into the Commonwealth.  I'm all about some visual intimidation.  Put 'em up so they can see them first thing as they come into the bluegrass.  Also, it will give all of us something to talk about as we wait for our delayed flights.  We can talk about the Fabulous Five ('47-48), the Fiddlin' Five ('57-58), the Comeback Cats ('97-98), and the Great Wall & Friends ('09-10).  They would make fabulous conversation starters.

Secondly, you could display them at various interstate exits.  Same principle as above.  It's all about mental prowess for those teams who take a bus into Lexington.

Third, you could loan them to some memorabilia place.  Maybe a sports hall of fame or something.  I know there's a bunch of places off UK's campus that would love to have them, but they would get stolen in no time.  Which leads me to...

Fourth (and the option I hope you choose), you could just give them to me.  Yeah, I know it would make a lot of people mad, but I'm a big girl and can handle the anger.  And I have a couple of good places they could go.  They would make an incredible addition to my classroom.  You have no idea how good they would look on the classroom walls.  And then, there's the house.  I could hang them off both the back deck and front porch.  I promise to take good care of them and will bring them indoors if it rains.

I know y'all are incredibly busy.  Getting #1 recruiting classes is incredibly taxing.  I will understand if it takes some time to reply to my letter.  However, if you do decide to ship the the banners, please know I prefer the US Postal Service.  I'll be in touch.


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